My Mother-In-Law

I love my mother-in-law. She's a sweet grandmotherly type, who almost makes me feel guilty about not being the type of woman who could her son into kids he doesn't want. Almost. Her name is Dot. (I'm not kidding.)

She called us up the other day and asked if I wanted to take her arts and crafts supplies off her hands because she wasn't going to be doing anything with them anymore. Because it's no fun without Lois (the neighbor lady across the street who has also given up doing arts and crafts). Because she doesn't like to shop for supplies without Lois, who won't tag along because she'll be tempted to buy something that she won't use anyway because it's cute.

So the husband tells his adorable mother that I said yes, I''ll be down to take a look at what she has. I called her back later when I had my work schedule handy and told her when I'd be down. I get the in-laws house and I can't hear the pugs barking (Ollie and Ruby) and Dot is talking absolutely forever to answer the door.

Just when I've almost decided that "Something Terrible" has happened, she finally opens the door. Turns our she broke her foot. I can't hear the pugs because she let them out that morning and the porch steps are a giant pain in the ass with the huge orthotic boot she's wearing and she hasn't bothered to let them back in.

So I look around the living at the half dozen or so totes and decide that I'll just take it all. Then Dot points out that there's more totes down the hallway (which is about three more, plus a pile of grapevine wreaths). So at this point I'm thinking no big deal.

I asked Dot if she wanted me to go through the stuff at their house or bring it home and return what I don't want or what? She says that anything I don't take she's just going to throw out. I said, do you just want me to take everything, and if I can't use it, just find another home for it?

Dot says "Could you?!?! I mean I don't want you to be stuck with stuff you won't use. I don't want you to take it home and then tell everyone that your mother-in-law stuck you with an incredible pile of shit and that you don't want any of it and don't know what to do because you couldn't say no, but it's a bunch of useless shit and you don't want it."

I said confidently, "No, no problem, I can find homes for anything I won't use." Secretly wondering how I'm going to do this, but I've already volunteered to take it all.

Then Dot says "There's more in the spare bedroom."

"That's okay, I'll just have to make a bunch of trips, we'll have an excuse to visit."

Then she shows me the spare bedroom. Then she tells me there's more in the closet.

****

So at this point, we've made nearly a dozen 45 minute round trips to my in-laws, 4 of which it took to even make a dent in the stack of totes Dot had. I think we're about 2/3s of the way through getting it to our house.

I have no idea where I'm going to store all of it, or how I'm going to get rid of what I don't want/need. What I originally thought was 12 or so totes, has turned out to be more like 40. But I finally have a wreath for my front door and so does Lisa, and I have another to give to Jess & Mike and I have a heart-shaped wreath to hang between the sconces in my living room. I'm also a long way toward replacing all of the Christmas ornaments we couldn't keep after the fire, and I'll be able to get Jess & Mike a good start for their first Christmas in their own apartment.

I ended up spending $12 on specialty floral picking pliers (that was after 50% off) and I'm sliced open 4 of my fingers (I'm running out) with the stupid steel picks for the pliers. There's styrofoam fake berries all over the living room. My back, third floor room looks like a floral supply warehouse, and much to my husband's delight/dismay, I'm happier than a pig in shit and so is his mother!

That being said, anybody need any floral supplies??